OK readers, this is one of those weeks when I don’t have enough “stuff” for a complete column, but lots of little bits that are fun to share with you. So here goes.
I have become a “knit wit.” This has nothing to do with my mental state, just the fact that I have picked up knitting needles and yarn and am feverishly knitting away, a regular Madame deFarge.
Let me clarify, I am not a real knitter, but I can make those cutesy fuzzy scarves that are all the rage in a couple of evenings. My creations also made good gifts, so I have not been knitting for naught, as can be attested to by the female members of my family.
I am a self-taught knitter, and while I am certain there is a book titled “Knitting for Dummies,” I purchased a book for teaching kids to knit. It’s easy to comprehend and the illustrations are large and simplified. It works for me. Feel free to notice my scarf and tell me what a good job I did. It will make me feel good while keeping warm.
I have tried to crochet, but I don’t quite have the knack for it. And there is only so much one can do with a chain of crocheted yarn a mile long.
Fancying myself as a somewhat crafty person, I did like to make things as a child and probably made dozens of pot holders on a loom. Those also became gifts. My mother should never have burned her hands judging from the number of pot holders I made for her.
Oprah may have her book club (though one of her picks caused some controversy recently), but I have some recommendations of my own for the light-hearted reader from the “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader” collection. Don’t let the title fool you. Although it can be read in “the library,” it is nothing but pure fun and full of useless and worthless information.
The “Bathroom Readers” take a look at everything from people to history to weather to name just a few. I am currently reading the second book on history, and I know things now that would have earned me extra credit when I was back in school. Knowledge gained from the Uncle John’s books is hardly ever, if ever, written in traditional history books. The series also publishes a page-a-day calendar.
Where else would I have learned that it is illegal for a man to serenade his wife in Kalamazoo, Mich. Better not take Husband Joe there. Or did you know that due to the weight of the face on a penny it is more likely to land face down? You can bet on that!
Deputize Father Robert Banzin of St. Mary’s Church. Seems Father Banzin was looking out the rectory window recently and noticed a man dressed in attire not considered church-appropriate. Feeling something was not right, he headed over to the church to discover the man breaking into the poor box.
Taking matters into his own hands he tried to apprehend the “perp” (that’s short for perpetrator?”I watch “Law and Order” too much) who ran away. But a quick call to the Riverside police had him apprehended in minutes.
The person now has a court date and, hopefully, he’ll learn the error of his ways. I hope he knows how to say a good Act of Contrition. Why you ask was the church open? Because there was a baptism going on near the altar.
Those of you who were lucky enough to partake in the special Valentine menu at the Chew Chew Caf had a treat beyond expectations. Which brings me to the question of why the popular restaurant has not made its way to “Check Please” on Channel 11 WTTW? Let’s work on this and see if we can convince the powers that be to notice the eatery in Riverside. Don’t you agree?
Also Chew Chew’s proprietor Scott Zimmer was a guest on “Koffee with Kosey,” the student produced show on RBTV Channel 16. The show is not yet scheduled but should be on in the next month.
Which means my entourage now includes Scott Zimmer (the official show eatery), Grumpy’s (the official coffee), Basili’s (official hair stylist) and Dr. A.J. Salerno (official dentist) and my reader?”who are officially the best of everything.