“We weren’t sure the first set was wrong” said President Gorman. “However, the second set was sufficiently confusing that the trustees were certain the numbers must be inaccurate. At that point we decided to go ahead with the project.”

Gorman further stated, “It never pays to go off half-cocked on something like this. There’s really only one chance to screw this up.”

Trustee Sacchi, a fiery proponent of removing the dam, had earlier in the week convulsed in a profane fit of agitation when a resident confronted him with the truth that the dam’s removal had been sold as a flood mediation project.

Sacchi became notably relaxed at Monday’s meeting when the new inaccurate numbers were revealed. “I don’t like to take chances with facts,” he said.

A scary moment occurred when Army Corps of Engineers key man Jeff Zuercher queried by trustee Reynolds as to whether some of the numerous numbers being given might actually be correct, suffered a brief fainting spell.

Considering Mr. Zuercher’s intense efforts over the past year to ensure the inaccuracy of what has been given to the public, it was understandable. Fortunately, he recovered in time to provide a misleading explanation. Once restored to a confused state, trustees Sussman, Reynolds, Sells and Shevitz nodded in agreement.

Resident stalwart Ted Smith proved invaluable in propping up the case that virtually none of the numbers provided by the Corps were accurate. Wielding his rubber tipped aluminum cane with a nimbleness that defied his age, he pinned a diagram of the river to the wall, not just once but numerous times.

The night’s most poignant remark justifying the $8 million expenditure of taxpayer money belonged to Trustee Ballerine, “Hey, an inch is an inch. I’ve had an inch of water in my basement and I didn’t like it.”

William Anderson
Riverside